Is this Considered abuse? or me just being a wimp?

m 18 year old girl and broke up with my ex about 9 months ago. Latley my counsaling has been getting very touchy. I don't want to talk to my counsaler about my uality and I don't know why. I'm a virgin, but Yet, I feel like the biggest **** ever.It's one subject in the world I don't want to talk about. I dono why I feel this way. I'm starting to relise if my Relationship with my ex was not notmal. He was my friend from years back, and I had started dating him after moving back to my home town where I met him after three years. I was at first the happiest girl with him, but then started to not want to be around him or talk to him. He would ask me on dates and not show up, He would hang out with other girls when he said he would hang out with me. He would write poems on face book that were "for me" that were really for other girls. We would be on the phone at night, and he would say really .... inapropiate things, but I figured that's what most boyfriends would do, but I wouldn't say anythign back unless he would tell me to ?. like... he would tell me to tell him fantasy's, and I would tell him I had none, because it was true. I didn't. He would not stop telling me to tell him one, so I just made one up on the spot. I didn't want to talk to him anymore, but I still would all the time. I hated kissing him, yet I would all the time, I dono why. It was like a chore. That's all he wanted to do was makeout. When I didn't want to kiss him at school he'de say I didn't love him, and would keep on asking if I was breaking up with him. He would call me a Horney girl like I was dirty, he never would sit beside me at banquets he took me to. I'de be sitting on my own when he was with the "boys" He would tell me that if I ever got fat then he would still love me but he would make me do lots of excercise with him, wich is exactly what he would make me do. I'm 106 pounds at 4 ft 11. He was 100 pounds at 5 ft 4. I felt fat around him. When I would come over to lunch and he knew I didn't hav breckfast he'd give me one egg, and one little piece of brocoli. He'd always me even though I told him I didn't like it. I'd re-explain that it was because Guys would do that to be in the past withought my permision, and then He'd get really mad, and ask why I would tell him that because he didn't want to know. And I'de say " because you keep doing it even though you know that's why I don't like it and you still don't listen so I tell you agian.:.......he had been through a lot in his life though. like.. a dad that left him, so I tried to help him. But I broke up with him, and felt really bad. He said I gave up on him, and that now no one would love him. And that he always loved me and never let me down. That I had no reason to. So I got back with him. When we talked over "boundaries" I talked about no more of those phone calls that were happening, and he'd say " ya about that, that was crazy, what was that? like serisously? we're a little dirty." I wanted to yell at him and say " you wer ethe one's saying those things when I'de just listen." but... he did make me say a fantacy so it was also my fault. were not together anymore. But.......... should have I just sucked it up? like.. he'de been through a lot. was it just a boyfriend who was a jerk sometimes like all guys have there moments? or do you think I had a good reason to break up with him?